Ash Wednesday

We live in a world that demands perfection.  We must be absolutely perfect.  If we show even a moment of weakness, we're looked down upon.  If we have any doubt of that, all we need to do is to look at our world of politics.  If someone makes a statement that doesn't get the response they were looking for, immediately you begin to hear, "but that wasn't what I really meant."  Then they begin to change what they really said and try to make it what they should have said. 

Or sometimes the opposite happens, how often do we hear that a politician has changed his position, has flip-flopped, and we look at it as something awful.  At the same time though,  Honestly, what would we think of a person who looked at all the evidence, and seeing that he was wrong, decided that he was going to be stubborn and still wouldn't change?  When we put it that way, we'd certainly call him an idiot.  Either way, we can reject the one that listens and wants to change for being weak, and we reject the one who doesn’t listen for being stubborn.  Stop for a second and think about just how absurd that really is…

I think in our own lives, we treat ourselves very much the same way.  two of the most difficult things in the world for us to say, are "I was wrong" and "I'm Sorry"  Yet, those are two of the most important words we can ever say.  It's only where we recognize our own weaknesses, the places we fail, that we're able to work on them, that we're able to improve, that we're able to grow.  Today, we celebrate ash Wednesday, Today we recognize that every single one of us is a sinner, and we all do things we shouldn't.  Today, as we begin the season of lent, we begin a season of penance.  Now is the time when we are really called to stop and examine our lives.  Where have I gone wrong, where are my faults, where are my sins.  Then, once we become aware of them,  then, and only then can God heal them.  In the first reading today from the prophet Joel, we are called to return to God with all our hearts, with fasting, weeping, and mourning.  We are called to rend our hearts.

If we really take the time to be honest with ourselves, I think each and every one of us can call to mind some time that we have really sinned, when we really didn't live up to being the sort of person God calls us to be.  Of course it's easy to point out that others might be worse, but really, that's just a cop-out from really looking deep into ourselves, because at the deepest level, faith begins by realizing I can't do it on my own, I have screwed things up, I have sinned, and only with God can I really be better than I am.  Only when we're really ready to honestly come to God with fasting, weeping and mourning, only when we are truly empty, can we really be open enough for God to fill us, to raise us up, to make us better than we are, to give us, conversion. 

Then, when we ask ourselves, are we really doing that, are we really being sincere, our Lord gives us the greatest test of all.  When we really admit our sins, when we really deep down stand empty before God, is anyone watching?  Is there anyone we're trying to impress?  Are we trying to show the world how holy, how blameless we are?  Do we care what they think?  When we're truly able to go into our room, and to really admit who we are before God….then we've given him something he can work with.

If our body gets hurt, if we sprain an ankle, get cut up, or find ourselves hurt.  When we hide that injury and pretend it doesn't exist…what happens, it gets worse.  When we show it to the doctor, or at least the trainer, they wrap it up, give us ice, and we can begin to heal.  With faith, with sin, it's very much the same process.

As this lent begins, I know many of us think of things we'd like to give up or sacrifice, and that's a good thing.  Also this lent, I'd like us to take that commission seriously.  What is that wound that I have that I really don't want to show to anyone?  Where am I hurting?  Where do I really need to improve?  Let's take this lent to find that thing…and to actually reveal it, Because only when we can truly say, I was wrong, I am sorry, can real healing actually begin.